The Crispy Remedy

Addressing Burnout and Vicarious Trauma for the Helpers (Guest Article)

Help Ourselves Help Others

Those of us drawn to helping professions might occasionally notice that taking care of ourselves over others does not come naturally (or at all). It doesn’t mean we can’t do it, but it takes repeated acts of conscious choice with prioritization and practice. Oftentimes, people are in mental health and nonprofit careers because they want to make a difference by providing nurture, comfort, and space where people can feel safe to be their authentic selves. These fields are notorious, however, for being overburdened, under-staffed, and poorly funded. They aren’t known for their ability to prioritize consistent care for employees. On the same coin, this work is vital because we all need the passionately compassionate to serve as change agents in systems that create and perpetuate harm. It is important to look at both micro (personal) and macro (environmental) steps people can take to find constant renewal and energy to manage burnout and vicarious trauma in helping professions.

On a personal level, we want to consider the factors that help us feel renewed and refreshed.  We all have interests and hobbies that we pursued before and during the process of becoming helpers, and it is important to continue to find ways to cultivate these. This allows us to have an enriched identity separate from helping the community. There have to be other ways of being fulfilled and having our cup(s) full aside from the gratification that comes from the helping role. Yes, gratification and purpose come with the work, but that can’t be the whole story. We must have resources to get us through the times of drought or pain within these professions. If you have lost track of your separate passions or hobbies, it’s time to reconnect, practice, and reflect. Or, if there is something you are interested in pursuing, identify it and go after it, sooner rather than later. If you’re not sure, start a process of exploration. Take free online tests about interests, listen to podcasts about topics that make you curious, journal, or do good old-fashioned web diagrams about things you care about - what or who inspires you, what you want to learn more about, etc. Then, this part is crucial: pick just one thing and go for it!  There’s probably an app for that thing! For example, if you want to start to learn a foreign language, you can quickly download an app that will help start you off on this goal. It is important to build mastery in multiple areas of your life to ensure well-being through personal self-care. Helping others can’t be the only thing that fulfills us. You deserve to care for yourself as well, and developing your talents and interests provides emotional and physical support that creates satisfaction and mastery.

Identities Embedded in the Help

Many times, we gravitate toward these supportive professions because of our past lives. No, not reincarnation, although it’s a fascinating thought. Rather, the people and relationships you had through your childhood and formative years, and all the things that inspired you to take this journey into the helping world. Many times, our past pain and healing inspire our decisions to seek out a life of supporting others. This is incredible and so important because the best healers are often the ones who have a real understanding of pain and suffering and have lived through it to see the other side. Those empathy muscles are strong! But, if this means you have a personal life of having to help others all the time, then you are literally burning at both ends. If you have chosen a path of helping in your professional life, it will be important to nurture personal relationships with others that don’t involve the need to constantly help. If your family always needs rescuing, if your partner can’t manage life without you, if your best friend is always on the brink of another disaster, I would urge you to find ways to figure out your boundaries and stick with them. Please note, I rarely encourage emotional cut-off from the people we love because it rarely sticks, and always hurts, but there are some exceptions to this. If you find yourself worn out in personal and professional settings, I urge you to seek your own therapy, find your boundaries, and gently but firmly stick with them because it is unlikely that a person can maintain both roles for long without a literal or metaphorical crash and burn.

Another important element of remedying burnout and vicarious trauma includes the macro level of the person; that is, the spirituality and philosophies inside of the helper. These make us consider our passions and our sense of purpose in a world that can feel hopeless, overwhelming, and full of suffering.  This speaks to the parts of ourselves that get traumatized, either through lived experiences with our clients or through vicarious trauma—through absorbing the awful stories that people have been living prior to entering the work with you. It is easy to focus on the sadness, pain, and catastrophe to the point it overshadows the rest. Or maybe do the opposite and not focus on any of it at all, building a sense of apathy or disconnection between you and your work; this isn’t healthy either because it’s a form of numbing. Our task is to enter humbly into the dance of moving into the pain, holding it, honoring it, and being able to release it when it is time to do so. Sometimes, particularly if we are exhausted with the work and the system(s), we fall into traps of helplessness and hopelessness related to those we serve. If you find yourself there, start to use resources to go deeper within your spirit--even just 5-10 minutes per day reading or listening to something inspiring; setting goals to spend just 3-5 minutes at the start of every day with some specific meditation or mindfulness practice. There are so many helpful resources right at our fingertips (thanks, Internet!). Find a book on spirituality, daily meditations to read and reflect on, self-help books or audio tracks, read books like A Man’s Search for Meaning, search for relaxing sounds—basically anything that allows you time to sit and reflect on the deeper questions, the “why’s” of life, and ultimately circle back to messages of hope and light on painful journeys. These spiritual resources connect in a very immediate way to both our own processes of healing personal wounds along with embracing the capacity to have the respect and trust that our clients are permitted to live their own journeys, in whatever way they need.  

Harmful Systems

But what if the system seems built to wear us out? What if the business or community we are in seems perpetually designed to replace parts (ahem, people/agencies!)—that is, add one in, use it till it wears out, and then cast it aside for a shiny new replacement? I wouldn’t necessarily encourage someone quit if this is what they are encountering. I am a social worker in practice and at heart, and I am always looking at the system, seeing the strengths, and trying to aim for improvement or changes where they can be made. Some situations are untenable and you have to walk away from them. Some aren’t, and sometimes just when you think you can’t take anymore, something shifts and a change or solution is (miraculously?!) realized. Take time to see if you can apply critical thinking and creativity to help sustain you and/or your workload. 

So, if the system itself feels like it is wearing you thin, consider the pros and cons of staying and leaving.  Don’t just obsess about them on repeat; write them down, everything you can think of, and then assess your responses. Talk them over with a counselor or someone you trust. Often, when we consider the facts of the situation alongside our emotions, it becomes clear what the next steps need to be. We can find clarity in the midst of burned-out feelings. If you need or want to stay in the system, then you have to reckon with both of the following questions: What needs to change inside of me so I can offer the best of myself in this role AND What changes do I need to advocate for so the [agency, community, workplace] can help me to offer the best of myself in my role?  

Get Real, Get Help

If you’re going to stay, you have to get real with yourself about what you hope to accomplish and why you are sticking with it. Sometimes, a stressful role offers lots of support toward the professional goals you have. You may be providing a service to the community that no one else would be. Sometimes the experiences you gain are simply invaluable. Or maybe the team you have brings you so much connection and support that you cannot imagine walking away. That’s okay. But enter into your work with a heart of acceptance, knowing that you are here of your own volition AND (a very important and) you are seeking to have hope and advocate for a system for which you have decided to continue to hold hope. So when you enter into that role of advocacy for yourself, your clients, and/or your agency, do so mindfully and with a well-considered plan in place. Use your emotions, but don’t be used by your emotions. Use them to find your intuition and wisdom, but also consider your facts and goals, and then proceed into real conversations, proposals, or brainstorming opportunities. Avoid gossip, complaining, impulsive acts, and repetition of hopeless thoughts and patterns because these stagnate your growth and progress. Consider reducing your contact or setting boundaries with people who function in the space of misery and gossip. Remember, the only thing that ever remains constant in life is change; so if you don’t like it today and you have the energy to try, you will be surprised at the transformation and creativity waiting at the edge of change.

You are undeniably enriching the lives of others with the work you do. These strategies ensure that your enrichment of others doesn’t leave you depleted and crispy--burnt out to the max! There has to be some acceptance that you are dealing with things that are at odds—you are going to find moments of fulfillment and purpose in your work and you are going to have days where you are tired and worn out.  That doesn’t mean there is something wrong, just that it’s time to assess and (re)connect with yourself and your needs. It may simply point to a need for rest and rejuvenation. If it’s a pattern that doesn’t ease, then it means it’s time to take things more seriously and start to establish more care and balance for your soul. Please know that none of these recommendations are a substitute for finding and maintaining relationships with other helpers who are there to support you—a counselor, a spiritual leader or group, or a consultant who may be able to help with difficult cases. This work is hard and rewarding in nearly the same measure, but with a few simple strategies, we can strive to reduce burnout, heal vicarious trauma, and continue to tend to your passion for the people/systems you are impacting each day.  

Larissa Theison is a Clinical Social Worker and author with more than 15 years of experience working with complex trauma and families, and she provides support to clinical professionals through her business, Caring for Clinicians. She is passionate about supporting helpers in their work so they can show up as the best version of themselves and continue providing invaluable services to the community.